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Picture Pastimes

11 January 2011

 It wasn’t that long ago that you were here. Now you sit there awkwardly on the shelf starring right through me. A dusted photo of happier times to be forgotten

Two years now, and your face is just a dream. I can’t  feel you anymore. Just blankness, as my heart tries to remember what it felt like to love you. Every now and then, I wake up to find that it’s all true.  With the hands of time gripped firmly around my neck holding my last breath. And in one second the whole scene flashes right through me.

The phone call… Our parents… The sadness… Your friends… The letter…Your funeral…and all the unanswered questions–The lifeline ends again.

In a solemn sigh, I feel a surge of energy race through my core, the faint joy of loving you. It’s almost as if you are reaching out to touch me. I catch my breath only to realize I don’t want to go there anymore.

No more tears, no more defeat, no more brokeness do I care to fight off.  The tears wait in the corners of my eyes, while the rock is lodged in my throat; each waiting to see if the queue of hurt shall succeed. But I surrender! The battle of remembering you is too brutal to re-live. The past packed away so deep, that I dare not unlock the memories of us.

No more storyline are we. These pictures are not worth a thousand words, as you sit there in the past, on a dusty shelf, wanting to remembered.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. 15 January 2011 12:23 am

    I enjoyed this post the first time i read it. Then after i browsed your blog i realized the message was a lot more personal. The second time i read it forced me to imagine the pain one goes through when faced with tragedy, i could only imagine though, i wouldn’t dare claim to understand the pain but the story stirs up some emotions all the same.

    Great job, i love your blog, have a wonderful day,

    Declan.

    • 15 January 2011 12:24 pm

      Thank you. Writing has been every part of the healing process. And I am thankful to have found my voice throughout all the pain.

      I have also enjoyed reading your blog. Many blessings of creativity coming your way.

      One Love,
      LEXY

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